Invictus

I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul - William Ernest Henley

When I was in first grade I had books that contained what a family looked like. It was usually made up of a dad, a mom, a son and a daughter. For years I thought that I missed out on having the perfect family because being the eldest I was supposed to be a boy. Of course years later this frustration translated to wishing I had an older brother.

But as life usually teaches us, things don't always turn out the way we want it to. But more importantly we learn that things don't always have to look a certain way to be correct. I later learned that families don't always have to have the oldest child as a boy or that a family can be a family even if there's no dad or a mom - I learned this through Sesame Street :)

So what does Invictus have to do with this? Invictus was a poem written by Henley about self-mastery. In Psychology this can be seen as self-actualization. In Marriage and Family Therapy this can be called, self-differentiation. No matter what it's called, a lot of us strive to achieve this which is why self-help books is big business.

I recently watched a film and a line really spoke to me, "We have the luxury to design our life." I feel that. I know I've been truly blessed to already actually understand what that means. I mean that's what I love about not being so young anymore is that I have the full confidence of knowing what I can or cannot do. I have had enough life experience to truly know what my strengths and weaknesses are. I have seen life testing me. I have seen myself survive challenges and learn from my mistakes. This doesn't mean that I am anywhere near being self-mastered but I think know enough to no longer be as afraid to fail or make mistakes.

Of course as a Christian, self-mastery looks different. We make a choice to no longer be masters of ourselves. We choose to let God take over our lives and lead us to how we ought to live it. But He still gave us free will and I think that part of that is being given the "luxury of designing" it.

A few years ago my mom said that Ethel and I were going to get new rooms in the house. She even told me that we get to design what our rooms would look like and so I did. I took things that I've liked from other people's rooms I've seen and integrated them into the perfect room. I think that that's how most of us live our lives anyway.

We all want to be good people and so we look around first to our parents then relatives then friends then other people and take what's good from them (and some bad) and integrate that in who we are. That's how we are molded into who we become which makes this gift very important. This means that we are the ones who decide who we become as people.

I believe that all of us are given two choices every single time. We either choose to do something or choose not to do something. We either choose to be something or choose not to be something. Even in situations where we think we don't have a choice, we can always choose to do otherwise. But as always, every choice has a consequence. I think most of us are thrown not by the choices but by the consequences, right? I pray that for this coming week you dear reader choose well. So, here's to becoming the best you!

Blessings! Gemma