Inspired

*Disclaimer: Deep Random Thoughts are blogs on anything that affects me emotionally, mentally and spiritually. They may not be structurally well written but they're from the heart. And you were already forewarned that they're random..

It's been a while... First blog of the year and we're almost halfway through February. I apparently haven't written anything since October of last year and prior to this blog, I don't believe anyone (who has not been my professor) has read anything I've written in almost 6 years. That's a long time.

I actually started this blog July of last year. So if I've had this blog since last year, why am I only publishing it now? Well, the truth is, I have been avoiding feedback. See, six years ago, I decided to stop writing publicly. As some of you may or may not know, me and my sister used to be columnists for the Mindanao Daily Mirror. Then, one day I started thinking that I had really nothing to say that people ought to read about. It was almost like all the bravado that youth afforded me faded away bringing with it what I thought were these amazing words that I've had to share. I guess I realized that I didn't really know as much as I thought I knew and then started thinking why should people read that? Worse... what if people didn't read at all?

See, I was already writing before blogging was even a thing. Blog wasn't even a word yet. And the truth was, I didn't really think that people read what I wrote. There wasn't exactly a quick and easy way of getting instant comments back then so I just never really had feedback except for once or twice when a friend would send me a text about how they liked what I wrote. Other than that, only friends of my parents gave me compliments which I've always appreciated but always felt were unobjective basis for feedback. So writing my columns meant oddly feeling detached from my readers. "My readers," still feels odd thinking about it.

Yet, here I am, braving what once was something so easy. I guess this is what atrophied writing muscles feel like as I try to stretch them back to what they once were. The point in all of this? I just miss writing. I miss putting thoughts together and creating sentences that make sense. I still feel like I don't have anything to write about, but so what? As Colin Firth's character in "The King's Speech", King George VI said, "Because I have a voice!"

So here's my thing. This year, I will write a blog at least once a week (ugh!). I need to give myself a goal and a deadline so I'll actually do this. And, I am also posting previous blogs I've written. Some of them I've edited for public consumption. So, here's to being inspired.

Thanks Nice :)